clear rants

I thought it would be interesting to mention that I wrote that previous post in its entirety on my iPod Touch using stolen WiFi while sitting on a park bench in Tudor City.

Ain’t technology grand? :)

Those of you on Facebook may have noticed the new (as of last week) module on your homepage titled “Friends you may know.” You may have also noticed that this script is pretty damn good at predicting whether you know a person or not. The principle behind it is pretty simple: if you have so many friends in common with Person A then there’s a good chance you know them too. However, when you see a list of people you “may” know and see a lot of familiar names, it’s a little eerie.

At first, I gave it a simple eyebrow raise and ignored it. But today, boredom took the reins and drove me to  see if I could generate an entire list of people I didn’t know. After about 5 tries of refreshing and adding everybody I did know (to get them out of the way), Facebook warned me that I was spamming friend requests and that if I continued such abhorrent behavior, my account would be disabled.

So, like a petulant child, I stopped. There goes that experiment. Possibly to be continued…

Wordpress 2.5 came out this week. What does this mean to you? Probably nothing. But it got me thinking about this blog again. So I upgraded it. I must say, it’s pretty freaking awesome. Maybe even awesome enough to get me writing again. Maybe.

But anyway, I changed the theme too.

So… I lied: no story tonight. I’m still too pooped from yesterday. But hopefully, I’ll get to writing soon. In other news, however,

I haven’t blogged in a while, but I thought this definitely warranted an entry:

Mosquito is a high-pitched sound “audible only to teenagers” sold by Britain’s Compound Security. It is sold to shopkeepers to use as a teenager repellent — the idea is to play it loudly in and around shops and “chase away those annoying teenagers!!!”

The kids have reportedly converted the high-pitched noise and turned it into a ringtone, which, being inaudible to grownups, can then be used to receive texts and calls in class without alerting teachers.

Link to article

That’s pretty clever of the kids. But what intrigues me more: is this sound actually legit? A bit of research unearthed this mysterious sound. It sounded a little fishy to me so of course, I, being the thorough journalist that I am, began testing it on people. I played it for friends and coworkers. The results were surprising. It seems that the sound is legit. But the claim that it only works on teenagers is a little muddy.

Two of my coworkers (aged 23 and 25) plus myself could hear the sound. The rest of my coworkers (one aged 26 and the rest 30+) were unable to hear it. Three of my friends (aged 23) were unable to hear it. I haven’t actually tried it on any teenagers yet, but that’s what this entry is for. Let me know if you can hear it!

Note: If all you can hear are waves, cars, laughs, etc. then you’re an old fogey. Sorry! If you’re “young” enough to hear it, then you’ll recognize the sound as soon as you hear it.

Bottom line: I’m still young at heart (and apparently at ears as well).

I saw this on sarajane’s xanga, and thought I’d give it a try. Google “[insert your name here] needs” and see what it says.

What Google says about”Clarence needs”

1. Clarence needs your help
2. Clarence needs his specially-adapted van and a driver
3. Clarence needs £100000 a year, mostly for 24-hour care cover
4. Clarence needs your support to complete more DNA testing that will prove he is innocent
5. Clarence needs to give his good friend a piece of his mind
6. Clarence needs to visit the vet
7. Clarence needs to get into better conditioning but has soft hands and the tools to be a very good player
8. Clarence needs advice on how to handle the situation
9. Clarence needs to learn that round pegs don’t fit in square…
10. Clarence needs to rescue Doris by chasing the Beach Bruiser all over the island!

Sorry I was just going to do 10, but this is fun, so here’s some more:

11. Clarence needs to clean up his work area.
12. Clarence needs plastic surgery
13. Clarence needs Jewish support in Crown Heights if he wants to hold on to power
14. Clarence needs a swing of 5.6 per cent to fall to the Coalition
15. Clarence needs work on about a third of his scalp

And here’s one from me: Clarence needs your support and if you can spare some, a little prayer. Thanks.

The other night, a bunch of us were discussing what I will heretofore refer to as the “Ghost Ring Phenomenon.” Perhaps I should clue you in as to what this is before any further discussion. The Ghost Ring Phenomenon is that sensation you get in your leg that feels like the phone in your pocket is vibrating/ringing, but when you go to check it, it’s not.

Perhaps we have already lost the girls. I don’t think girls know what I’m talking about due to the fact that most of them do not carry their cell-phones in their pocket, opting rather to be more health-conscious (and/or vain) and keep their phones in their bags. But back to us guys who know what the hell is going on. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Out of the four guys present at the initial discussion, all four of us have experienced the ghost ring on a consistent basis.

Is the ghost ring phenomenon an actual physical malady? Or is it just our mind playing tricks on us–an attempt to convince us we are more popular than we really are. I always thought I was alone in this, my own personal weird leg twitch thing, but apparently I’m not, so I would like to extend this invitation to all the people who have experienced the Ghost Ring to throw their two cents in.

My best friend (the guy I’m kissing in the picture below) sends me this picture. The first thing that pops into my head is “What makes this picture so odd that my friend has to send it to me?”

I take an inventory of the picture:
1. Sky looks fine
2. Hmm, the farm has a radioactive symbol on it, that’s a little odd
3. Farmer looks fine
4. Rooster looks fine
5. Oh wait, that rooster’s on a leash. I guess that’s pretty odd/funny.
6. Wait a second, that rooster’s bigger than usual.

That’s when I realized I’ve been desensitized by the internet. I’ve seen so much crazy crap on the internet in my life that, a huge-ass man-sized rooster just doesn’t jump out at me anymore. That’s a little scary. Any pictures you see on the internet have no validity at all anymore. I mean, remember this?

Anyway, the internet is a bad place. Stay away. It’ll make you weird, and desensitize you to the shocking things in life. I’m sure that if I were like 10 or something, before I got on the internet, and saw this badboy, I’d be like, “Wow, holy crap! That’s a huge rooster!! Is it real?!? Look at the radiation sign! it must be real!”

But alas, I have been desensitized by the internet.

Postnote: If you haven’t gotten the joke of the picture yet, the caption reads: “Man with the biggest cock in the world”