Happy Invade Clarence’s Personal Space Day!
Who knew that I had a holiday all my own? Apparently, these 3 people did. Thanks for remembering jerks!
Person #1: Random girl on subway
As I was taking a nap on the subway on my way to work this morning, I awoke to a person pushing up against me. I thought to myself, “Wow, the person next to her must be a real fatty!” I opened my eyes and looked over. Surprisingly, there was a big empty seat next to her on the bench. She smushed me again. What. The. Hell. Why are you all pushed up next to me when there’s a giant abyss of space on the other side?
Exasperated, I went back to sleep only to have her wake me up about 3 more times. The last time, I looked over and noticed that an actual orca was sitting next to her. Luckily, it was my stop so I vamoosed the hell out of there.
Person #2: Coworker #1
I’m walking down the hallway when someone runs up behind me, taps my knee-pit and barks. As my face contorts into its best WTF face, I notice one of my coworkers skipping away with a look of mischievous glee on his face.
Person #3: Coworker #2
I’m standing in my cubicle when Coworker #2 walks by and decides to nonchalantly give me a pat on the ass. Great.
Thanks for reminding me of this wonderful holiday everyone! You can bite me! :)